Shine On
by aphrodite's dream
Summary: Rachel has lived a lie for 3 years, in a world full of money, big houses and perfection. It's far away from her life beforehand, where war, fights and death prevailed. There's 2 things missing from her present day though... love... and Sirius Black.


"_You're really not so good at telling the truth, are you Sirius?" she grinned slyly, tossing her hair back over her shoulder and examining his face closely. Her eyes turned down to stare at his lips for a moment before they flickered up to his own again._

"_No, I'm a horrible liar," he agreed, their faces only an inch apart. He could feel her fingers tugging slightly on the hair at the nape of his neck, while he slid his hands slowly over her back. He moved his face a little closer, and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Rachel"

* * *

_

A jolt of the train awoke Rachel Parker suddenly.

"Not a great ride, I know"

Rachel looked blearily across the seats to her fiancé, Ethan. He was seated very upright, with the Daily Prophet covering his face as he read with a concentrated line on his forehead. His thin glasses sat perched near the tip of his nose. It looked as if he hadn't moved since she fell asleep.

Rachel didn't reply as she leant on the frosty window, her breath was fogging up the glass steadily.

Lately she hated sleeping, because she was having dreams about her past, from almost seven years ago when she had just left Hogwarts.

They were nightmares; she was trying to forget those days.

"Are you ok, honey?" Ethan asked her, without even looking up from his newspaper.

"Yeah, I'm fine thanks" Rachel murmured, sinking low into her seat.

"Are you sure?" he asked, finally looking at her, "do you want me to get you a glass of water? You're looking awfully pale"

"Sure" Rachel agreed; anything to get him out of the compartment for just a while so that she could collect her thoughts properly.

Once he left, Rachel opened the compartment window to get some fresh air. She savoured the feeling it gave her, it refreshed her mind and let her really think.

She had only been engaged for a week to Ethan Wallace, but it wasn't the first time she'd been engaged. Back when she was 21, Rachel was in a serious relationship – with now convicted murderer Sirius Black.

Frowning at the thought and tossing it from her mind, she concentrated on the scenery passing by. Fields of green endlessly went on and on into the far distance. It reminded her of Godric's Hollow, where Lily, James and Harry Potter once lived.

Frowning again, she sat back into her seat and took a deep breath. She hadn't thought about the Potters –or Sirius- for a long, long time. She didn't like to think about them, it was a part of her life which she'd rather completely forget.

Ethan shortly returned with the water, but as soon as he sat down, his face was back in the newspaper.

Rachel sighed, and for the next hour watched as the scene outside turned into the city of London. Sometimes she wished that Ethan's parents weren't as firm as they were in the belief that Ethan should still put his 'normal' opportunities to use.

Mr. and Mrs. Wallace were Muggles, and didn't really take pride in the fact that Ethan was a rather eager wizard. They didn't like the fact that he was marrying someone 'just like him' either.

At least when she was Sirius, she didn't have to worry about in-laws.

Rachel choked and spluttered her water, shocked that she even thought that.

Ethan looked up at her, concerned as he folded his newspaper up.

"What's wrong, Rach?"

"N-nothing…" she managed with difficulty, eyeing her water with a glare.

"Well, I suppose we better get off" he said, still frowning as he led the way off the train.

Once they had their luggage, it didn't take long for Ethan to spot his parents.

"Mother!" he greeted joyously, hugging her before moving to shake his father's hand. Rachel hung back, afraid of her future in-laws.

"Hello, Rachel" Mrs. Wallace finally greeted her, smiling a little.

"Good morning," Rachel smiled brightly at both, trying to keep up her appearance.

"Well, let's get moving then, shall we?" Ethan proposed, leading the way out of the station.

* * *

"Did you enjoy lunch?" Ethan asked over dinner that night. Rachel nodded, as she poked her pasta around her plate.

"Yeah, it was nice…"

Ethan kept on talking, but Rachel quickly zoned out, bored by the conversation.

She stared around the dining room of the house, and soon realised that all the things inside it could have probably paid for her childhood home.

Ethan was wealthy from family inheritance, and his house in Kensington had entranced Rachel since she first stepped foot into it almost two years ago.

None of Rachel's furniture from her old apartment made the cut when she moved in; it didn't really fit with all the richly decorated items in the house. She seemed to have much more of a bohemian feel when it came to decorating, whereas Ethan had only the richest and best of the best.

When he had proposed to Rachel, he promised her everything she could have ever wanted in life, and he had to money to do it too. Rachel would never have to work again.

If she wanted to go on a holiday around the world, she could.

If she wanted to eat out every night at the most expensive restaurants, she could do that too.

But with that, she also had to keep up her act like the perfect housewife. Mrs. Wallace had assumed today during their lunch that Rachel would be pregnant within the first year of marriage.

Rachel couldn't even speak, that wasn't how her life was planned out.

She wanted adventure; she craved to travel, to explore the world. She dreamed of experiencing different cultures.

She never believed she'd say this, but she actually wouldn't mind working again.

"Rachel, are you listening?"

She blinked dumbly at Ethan's query, but ignored the question and said quietly.

"I think I might just head off to bed, I'm not feeling too well"

She stood and Ethan frowned,

"Are you sure you wouldn't like me to make a doctor's appointment? I'm sure we could get you in for tomorrow morning"

"No, I'm fine" Rachel said, managing a small smile, "I just need some rest"

"Ok… well, I'm going to be at least another two hours; I have some paperwork to do…"

She didn't reply as she left, on her way upstairs to their bedroom.

She opened the door to the room and sighed, collapsing on the bed. She was exhausted, and the only excuse she had for it was that she'd been restless and waking up three or more times every night for the last week.

The past was replaying in her dreams; her times at Hogwarts, her times with Sirius, the time when she found out Lily and James had been killed…

After the night of October 31st 1981, Rachel had left that life behind her. She was completely ashamed to have learnt that her fiancé was a murderer. He killed three of his best friends, and almost had young Harry Potter murdered as well.

For all she knew, Rachel could've been the next one to go.

She shuddered at the thought, and rolled onto her back, staring up at the ceiling.

It wasn't long before she was asleep.

* * *

_He moved his face a little closer, and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Rachel"_

_Rachel smiled, and after he left a lingering kiss on her lips, she replied,_

"_I love you too"_

_Sirius leant his forehead against hers as they swayed to the music. They were on the balcony of the château where James and Lily Potter's wedding reception was being held. The music from inside was very feint, but they could still hear it._

"_I was so scared we were going to lose you after that last attack" he continued, "I couldn't stand seeing you just lying there in hospital… I couldn't do anything to help you, I wasn't coping at all"_

"_Don't worry," Rachel assured quietly, "nothing's going to take me away from you"_

_He tucked some of her blonde hair behind her ear before he leant in for another kiss. After a few moments he pulled away a little, and when Rachel moved forwards to kiss him again, he leant back still._

_Rachel frowned, and tilted her face to look at his. There was an odd expression written across it, one she had never seen before._

"_Is-" she started but Sirius took over,_

"_Rach, I don't ever want to lose you"_

_She smiled gently,_

"_You're not going to, I couldn't live without you"_

"_I couldn't either," he smiled, and stole another quick kiss again before whispering against her lips, "marry me?"_

_Rachel grinned, "Of course I will"

* * *

_

Just the same as it had been for the last week, Rachel woke with a start, and was greeted with blinding light.

She groaned and shielded her eyes, then was startled by Ethan's voice,

"Sorry Rach, I completely forgot you were up here…"

She opened her eyes and looked over at him drowsily,

"S'ok…" she muttered, before she turned to lie on her side, her back facing him.

"I'm going to have a shower" he called to her from the en-suite, and shortly he closed the door with a snap.

Rachel tried getting back to sleep, but the bedroom light was still on, annoying her endlessly. So she just lay there and thought to herself.

She looked at her engagement ring, and smiled slightly. The actual ring was still a bit big for her –she was going to get it altered- but nobody cared about that, all they saw when they looked at it was the huge diamond it sported.

It was a whole different world away from her first engagement.

She didn't even have a ring that time, because the war against Voldemort and his Death Eaters was being fought, and as Rachel was an Auror, wearing an engagement or wedding ring was pointless.

She would've been a bigger target that way, and she would have probably lost it in a battle.

A persistent tap came from one of the windows; telling that an owl was delivering mail. Rachel figured it was probably from Ethan's work, but after a while the tapping became increasingly irritating.

She got up to get the mail, and was a little surprised when she found it was addressed to her.

She ripped open the parchment envelope, and unfolded the letter inside.

_Dear Rachel,_

_I'm sorry to bother you, but I saw your engagement notice in the Daily Prophet just today and was interested._

_It's Remus Lupin writing by the way, and I'm sorry again if you don't want to hear from me, because I'll be perfectly ok with that._

_But if you do, well… I thought that you may like to catch up one day. I haven't seen you since before Lily and James passed away, and I've missed your friendship. _

_I've been alone a lot since then; I haven't had too many people to talk to. No one wants to know a werewolf. But it looks like you're happy, and I would really like to hear about your life now._

_I remember Ethan from Hogwarts, so feel free to bring him along if we do decide to catch up._

_Write back to me if you would like to set a time and date, I'm still at the same address as I was when you knew me before,_

_Yours,_

_Remus._

Rachel stared at the letter for a long while.

She did not expect this, not in a million years. She supposed that after what happened to Lily and James, and Peter too, Remus wouldn't even be able to look at Rachel, seeing as she used to be so close to Sirius.

"Wow…" she breathed, running a hand through her long blonde hair.

"What's that, honey?"

Rachel hadn't even heard Ethan finish his shower, she turned and quickly folded the letter,

"I… uh… it's a letter"

"Oh, ok… whose it from?"

"Remus Lupin…" she said, uncertainly.

"Who?" he asked, confused, "I've never heard of him…"

"Don't you remember, back in Hogwarts, the Marauders?"

"Yeah, of course… gee, they were annoying…" Ethan paused, "didn't you date that horrible Sirius Black for a few weeks?"

Rachel shifted uncomfortably; there was some parts of her life she had left out when she met Ethan.

Including all her time with Sirius.

"Uh… yeah, but Remus Lupin, he was one of the Marauders"

"Hmm, ok. Why is he writing to you?"

Ethan waited expectantly for her to answer while he moved around the bedroom, getting ready for bed while he put all his things away.

Rachel thought quickly, and the first thing that came to mind was what she ended up blurting,

"He needs me to help him on an assignment in Scotland"

Ethan stopped, and turned to look at her, confusion written clearly across his face,

"What?"

She anxiously twisted her hands and said nervously,

"I'm going back to work"

Ethan laughed, and shook his head,

"But you don't need to work"

"But I _want _to work" Rachel said earnestly, "and it'll only be for a few days"

Ethan narrowed his eyes slightly, searching her face for some sort of look that would prove she was joking.

"You're being serious aren't you?"

Rachel nodded, and walked up to Ethan. She gave him a quick kiss, before moving towards their wardrobe.

"Yes, I'm serious… and I leave tonight"

* * *

Raindrops started falling just as Rachel opened the gate to Remus' property.

She hurried up the cobbled path towards his house, before she knocked sharply on the door twice.

It was eleven o'clock at night, and Rachel wasn't going to be surprised if Remus never answered the door because he was in bed.

After waiting for a few, she knocked again.

Soon the door opened, and there stood someone Rachel had sorely missed.

But even though it had been a couple of years, it looked as though ten years had aged on Remus. The few greys in his hair had multiplied, and his face was looking gaunter than ever.

"Good evening, Remus" she smiled, pulling the hood of her cloak off her head, letting her hair spill out over her shoulders.

"Rachel Parker?" Remus asked in disbelief, and she smiled even brighter.

"The one and only, can I come in?"

Remus quickly stepped aside,

"O-of course, what are you doing here so late at night?"

Rachel stepped inside and took her cloak off, hanging it before she followed him into his kitchen.

"What are you doing here at all?" he continued, still in shock.

"Do you not want me here?" she asked sceptically, seating herself at the table like it was just yesterday she had last been around.

"Of course I want you here… but… this is just unexpected… _really _unexpected" he paused for a moment, "does Ethan know you're here?"

"Of course he knows" Rachel snapped, and Remus held up his hands,

"Ok, ok…so, um, I suppose… uh, how have you been?"

"I keep having dreams," Rachel started eagerly, ignoring Remus' question, "they're about… about everything that happened before Lily and James passed away"

Remus sat up a little straighter, almost as though he was glad she started talking about their past,

"Do you mind me talking about Sirius?"

"Why?" Rachel asked apprehensively, frowning.

"I have some information you may want to know, this is the real reason I wanted to catch up with you… I really need to tell you this Rachel…"


End file.
